


and the light goes on

by orphan_account



Category: Gundam 00
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-14
Updated: 2008-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Setsuna sets out to find Tieria. Set after the ending of Season1. No Season2 spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and the light goes on

It takes Setsuna over a year to find out Tieria is still alive. Even then, it's just by accident, a coded message he'd have overlooked if he hadn't programmed his computers to flash alarm at every possible combination of key words connected to 'Green Earth' in existence. He's not stupid, and he's known Tieria for a long time.

Just a few days ago, that sentence would have been a past tense one. He packs a travel bag immediately when he realizes.

Tieria's new home is on Earth, a tucked-away little apartment Setsuna reaches by elevator. He doesn't ring the bell at the main entrance, doesn't need to, because a woman with a kid on her arm exits the building and leaves the door open. It's easy, he doesn't even need to break the security codes.

He knocks when he's upstairs because it's the polite thing to do. He has no idea what Tieria is doing at this time of the day. It's afternoon, settling into evening. He's definitely at home; Setsuna stood long enough downstairs to see a shadow move behind curtained windows. But he could be busy. He could have company. He could have a life by now. The thought makes Setsuna's stomach contract painfully.

He knows when Tieria is on the other side of the door just like he'd always known back on the Ptolemaios, maybe the inaudible steps or the sound of his breathing, impossible to hear, but still somehow perceptible. If he'd been able to, he'd have programmed his room door on the ship to open for the sound. He hadn't. He'd opened the door by hand every time, expecting the kisses.

There's a peep hole, so Tieria knows it's him, and another jolt of pain goes through him when he realizes Tieria's taking his time thinking what to do. It's Setsuna, and he hasn't been forgiven. Possibly, he never will be. It hurts. The lock clicks, a jingle of a chain, a mechanical beep that tells him there is a far better mechanism securing this apartment than a single key and he's face to face with huge doe eyes and that ridiculous haircolor he always thought must be the result of a failed genetic experiment.

Setsuna would yell, but Tieria doesn't look annoyed or cold or indignant - all of which would be standard issued Tieria expressions allowing his temper to get the better of him.

He looks vulnerable.

They stare at each other as seconds tick by. Setsuna doesn't want to admit it, but seeing him, after a year of mourning, still hits him like a sucker-punch. He didn't really think it was true. Now he knows it is.

"You've grown," Tieria finally says.

"You haven't," Setsuna replies. "Not that I expected you to."

Tieria steps aside. The vulnerable look is almost gone, replaced by icy arrogance. "Since you've come all this way, you may as well look what I've done with the place."

Setsuna brushes past him, fighting not to wince when their arms touch casually. It's been too long, and he's missed feeling that warmth more than anything.

The apartment really isn't much bigger than Setsuna assumed, a little living room with adjoined kitchen, two doors, one leading into a bathroom, another one - door half-way open - into a bedroom that's darkened, glowing with the light of computer screens and something brighter, more colorful, more dangerous. Tieria shuts the door with a snap and gives him a look.

"I thought you were dead," Setsuna bites out. "How could you -?"

"I died." Tieria looks away, walks towards the kitchen to make tea. He has pretty china cups, and the liquid smells heavenly.

Setsuna doesn't know when he's last had tea. Money's short, so he drinks water. "No," he says, hard. "Lockon died. You just tucked your tail between your legs and came here to hide."

Tieria's eyes flash. He opens his mouth, but Setsuna cuts him off before he can reply. He doesn't want to say it, because it feels like his pride won't be able to stand it, but he knows that if he wants to have a chance to have Tieria back, there's nothing but to speak the words out loud. "You left me alone, with nobody to turn to. I - I thought you were dead, and I was the only one left of us. Of the four of us. I wanted to die, too."

Tieria's composure cracks, and he turns back around to the cups. His words seem to have deserted him now. Whatever cutting thing he wanted to say, he can't anymore. Setsuna has learned a lot in the past year. Every conversation they've had, every minute they spent together, turned over in his head, analyzed, relived. Especially the good ones, the beautiful ones, the taste of his skin and the feel of his hair between Setsuna's fingers. The soft whispered words.

"I understand that you blame me," he soldiers on, and his voice has lost all feeling, crisp, businesslike now. He can't say this with emotions, because every time he even thinks about it, the pain is more than he can take. "For his death, I get it, but you -"

"No."

"What?"

"No. I never blamed you. I was looking for a reason, trying to understand why he had to die. It wasn't your fault, I - it was mine. That's why I left. That's why I let the me that was a Gundam Meister die, that's why I'm the person I am, here, now. I never meant for you to think I blamed you." Tieria gives a short laugh. "All I do is hurt the people I love."

"Stop whining," Setsuna snaps. "Stop being a self-pitying little idiot and look at me, because I hate talking to your back. It's done, it's in the past, but I need to know..." he hesitates. Tieria has turned around, taken the steps, sets the tea before Setsuna on the table down, as well as his own.

"I'm not the same as back then," he warns. "Not like when he was there."

"I don't care."

"You will."

"I won't!" Setsuna moves into his personal space like a predator after its prey, hand on his wrist before he can move aside, yank it away. "I just can't do this alone. I can't. Please, don't send me away again. I want to fight to change the world into a better place, but -" Tieria looks away, towards the door he closed before to shield whatever's inside from Setsuna's gaze - and Setsuna reaches up, grasps the back of his neck in a vise-like grip to get his attention back. "It's always better with someone who cares at your back."

It's a two-way street, and Tieria understands; always has. Their eyes lock.

"You care, don't you?" Setsuna fights for his voice not to waver.

"Too much sometimes, I think." Tieria doesn't need to add 'for the way I was programmed'. They can both hear it all too well at the end of that statement.

Setsuna didn't lie. He doesn't mind. He relishes the warmth the admission brings, flooding his chest, his stomach. He angles his face up and presses his lips to Tieria's, tasting his mouth again, after all this time. He shed tears for that taste, but he's got it back now, and that's all that counts.

After a few moments, Tieria closes his arms around Setsuna's back, drawing him near, into a tight embrace, like that first time when Setsuna kissed him and he didn't know what to do in return.

"Just do what feels right," Setsuna had said, not having been hugged for a long, long time, and apparently, instincts are instincts for everyone alike. This feels better than anything in the past year has.

 

~~

_~~ written September 2008_


End file.
